How to Not Use A Fake ID 2024 Version

Teens are dressing up as mask-wearing grandmas to try to score alcohol

In a pandemic, no one knows you’re underage. That’s what Gen Z has discovered as they’ve updated the fake ID for the COVID-19 era, hitting up liquor stores dressed as elderly grandmas wearing coronavirus face masks.

The “prank” has taken social media platform TikTok by storm, with videos of users bedecked as boozehound bubbies — seemingly victorious, bottles in hand — racking up millions of views. That you get liquor before you turn 21 is, we’re sure, just a bonus.

How to Not Use A Fake ID

Ok, so we have all probably tried to get into a club using a fake ID or you know the drivers license borrowed from a friend that says you’re 21.  The problem is that there are so many worries you have to consider than just being turned down from the club once the door person figures out your ID is a fake.  If the ID is borrowed from a “look-a-like” real person they may not want their ID gallivanting around due to identity theft reasons in case the person looses it or it ends up in the hands of a club bouncer that is shady.  I have personally seen people at parties pass around ID’s that were taken at the door and no telling what happened with those.

I think the US liquor laws should be 18 and that clubs should not be as strict but I also wished the world was perfect and its not.  The clubs and bars are not being dick heads they just have no choice and live or die sometimes just on this one issue.  The majority of clubs get shut down just for letting minors drink or turning their heads to it and being caught by aggressive organizations such as the TABC in Texas or the highly aggressive ABC in NY .  If you work at a club you probably find it a personal assault that someone drinks inside it under 21 because it really does risk the club being shut down forever without a license to serve.  Several repeated underage drinking violations and the club is gone.

But what about the stupid things people have tried with ID’s that got them busted.  Here are some I have heard about or seen…

1. Walking in Drunk into a club when you look 16 and using an id that says you are 23.  Ok this is really stupid.  For one do not walk into a club drunk no matter what age you are.  Even if you are 21 the club can kick you out or you can be arrested for public drunk when the police come do a walk-through inside the club.  I have seen people stand in line to get in a club before and not be let in because they are too drunk and a smart bartender would not serve them anyway for their own liability.
2. Using an ID that you cannot sign the name.  If you do not have the address, birthdate, and cannot sign the name exactly as it is on the card then don’t risk using it.
3. Using an ID that rips in half.  Um yeah if you are going to use a fake license then at least make sure the damn thing doesn’t rip apart and that its quality is good enough.  You know… as good as a REAL license.  These bouncers probably bust several people every big club night using identification that is not their own so I would test it out first.
4. Not knowing anything about your state that license is printed.  Say you get a license from a state such as Ohio and someone asks you about how the Buckeye’s are doing this year and you say um “the who”… You could be in Vegas trying to use the ID but not even think they would know anything about Ohio.  Well most people who are checking identification have been around and they have moved around and know other cities.  Expect them to ask questions discretely just to see if you know anything about it.
5. Actions speak louder than words.  Know that when you walk in hesitantly into a club and look around like a bozo that they will spot you out and be suspicious.  You will stick out like Marilyn Manson walking into Midnight Mass.
6. Going up to the bar buying other underage drinkers drinks.  Not only will you get kicked out normally until you are 21 but your buddies will too.

Ok, so I made this list to be funny because I know how it is to not be able to get into a freakin club but you can read this blog and find out most of the under 21 nights in the cities we know about.  You might even be able to make deals with your local club about going in on 21 nights if you prove to them that you will not drink.  That is one hell of a VIP with lots of temptation.

Males get discriminated against more than anyone when it comes to getting into a club.  Most straight clubs make the guys enter at age 25, while girls can get in at 18.  This to me is discrimination and should not be allowed but the courts seem to allow it in most states.

Take Action

With the bad economy I think that governments might finally get desperate to lower drinking ages or loose that money in tourism to Mexico and Canada.  Write your local representatives and vote when elections come around.  Tell them it makes no sense to fight and die for a country but cannot enjoy an alcoholic beverage.

Finding a Fake ID

I wouldn’t risk it.  You might see a craigslist.org ad or someone offer you an ID but beware its almost impossible to make an ID since 9/11 and being busted for having one by the police might really land you in trouble.  If you have an older brother that looks like you then you’re a damn lucky person there might be some kind of music to be made out of that.  The government is cracking down on immigration, identity theft , and terrorism so you can only imagine the penalties for carrying around an ID that is not you.  A sibling I doubt would be much of a case for them (if you had their permission of course).

Fight for your rights biotches! But don’t get your hangout in trouble doing so…